Brokenness

 

To Me:  Brokenness is choosing to let go of:

My right to have drama.

My right to deserve.

My right to not be controlled.

My right of not being me.

My right to be seen.

My right of my hopes.

My right of my dreams.

I feel like I need to be seen.  God’s son Jesus did deserve these things, but He did not ask for them.  I want all my hopes to come true and dreams, but they all won’t.  I do drama so I can be seen and pitied on.  To deserve means that I want to be heard and have more.  I have a hole that I put it (all the things I deserve) in, but it leaks.  I want to be heard and I want people to see me and have the right to be right and have the right to life.  But Jesus says, “Be okay with letting your rights go.”  Jesus accepted, so I can, too.

 

To Me:  Brokenness is choosing to let go of:

My right to be snooty.

My right to be smart.

My right to be the best.

My right to be the good girl.

My right to be cool.

My right to be snazzy.

My right to be poprocky.

I have so many rights I think/wish to have/deserve.  Really who ARE these things coming from? Satan.  These untrue thoughts are from him.  For he is a liar and the father of lies.  He is the opposite of Jesus.  Jesus was humble and meek.  The angels could have told some rich men, but the angels told shepherds instead.  I choose God and His good ways.

To Me:  Brokenness is choosing to let go of:

My right to graduate.

My right to have a new mom and dad.

My right to talk.

My right to heal.

My right to be recognized.

My right to material things.

My right to life.

What does deserve mean to me?  To me, I feel like I have to have things.  Jesus did, but chose to give it all up and be humble.  I feel like I have to focus, be quiet, graduate and do all the above or else I will fail and shatter into a million pieces.  This is a lie.  Jesus says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  It doesn’t feel true, but God has brought the song to me, “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?”  Even if I let go of my deserves and my nights, Jesus will still be my light.  I don’t deserve anything, but Jesus gave His all so I could be saved.  It is amazing to me how many hard things and pain He went through.  I want to be like Jesus and be a servant.  Jesus has my life in His hands.  I choose to trust Him with everything and be a frail lamb in His arms.  That’s my only hope.

To Me:  Brokenness is choosing to let go of:

My right to have sweets.

My right to being selfish.

My right to have more money.

My right to be right.

My right to have acceptance.

My right to be successful.

What deserve means to me is that I have to deserve something, and we don’t deserve anything.   My rights are to have acceptance and be successful.  Choosing to let go of these is all the brokenness.

 

To Me: Brokenness is choosing to let go of:

My right to be happy.

My right to have friends.

My right to have everything.

My right to be a good person.

My right to be loved.

My right to have a good relationship.

My right to go into defense mood.

My right to be accepted.

My right to have control.

My right to be friendly.

My right to love people.

If I think about deserve, I always think that is something I didn’t have.  I think about deserving things when I am empty, down, or something.  To know the truth, we really don’t deserve anything, but we really want it.  Choosing to be ok with what we already have.