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  • Todd Unruh

How We Control or Manipulate Another Person’s Feelings

She was who she was. Lily was her name. She was hurt, confused, and in desperate need of help. Lily had this friend named Kelly. Kelly, on the other hand, had her own problems.. trying to work through them. Lily spent her time walking around as if she was queen of the earth. Kelly saw this and said to herself, “Well, I’ll be switched. Lily is perfect!” Little did Kelly realize what all Lily was on the inside. Days went by. Summer ended and school started. “8th grade,” breathed Kelly as she walked into Walnut Hill Middle School. As she headed to her locker she ran into Lizzie, one of her other friends. They stopped, chatted for awhile and moved on. Lily was waiting at Kelly’s locker as Kelly made her way over. “Good Morning, Beautiful Sunshine.. ready to start 8th grade?” said Lily. “Sure am,” said Kelly. Walking into class they bumped into Lizzie. “Hey,” said Lily, “would you like to come over after school?” “Sure,” said Lizzie, sounding enthused. As they came into the classroom Lily said, “Lizzie always acts like a know-it-all.” Kelly was stunned. Did she really hear correctly? Lily had just invited Lizzie to her house! We can hurt other people more by acting like we absolutely love to be with them and then talk bad about them behind their back. Trying to get other people to like you is selfish.

We can control other people’s feelings by making them feel guilty. Mom nicely says, “June, Posie Barr wants us to come sew with her tomorrow.” And June says, “Oh, well, um.. Trinity and Leah are going to the mall.. but, ya, that will be great fun.” And what does Mom feel? She feels guilty and sorry. And then the daughter says, “Well, Mom, if I go sew with you will you buy that purse for me in Rue 21?” Mom feels guilty and says, “Ya, we’ll get it on the way home.” What all was June doing? First of all she was being terribly passive- aggressive, forceful, disrespectful, and, in a way, controlling. I know we are all human, but God doesn’t want us to be like that. We are ruining relationships and friendships and I don’t think any of us like being without any friends and family. We still may do this, but we can catch ourselves and change.

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