On being broken and healing.....
The following 3 essays were written by some of our ranch girls...…..
Healing occurs only when you are willing. I won’t be able to heal unless I am ready to face what is at the bottom. I can work on the triggers, but it won’t fix it completely; your triggers are like weeds. You can break them on the surface, but they are going to keep growing back until you pull them out… roots and all. Maybe we think this person or that person (or myself) is unbreakable. But God can break the so-called “unbreakable.” There is no one that cannot heal. There is no one that cannot change. God wants us to heal, so He made it possible for every single person. He longs to carry our burdens and for us to give it all to Him. He doesn’t like to see us struggling alone, trying to do it all ourselves. But only when we are willing, does He take our pain and burdens to truly heal... I have to be real. I have to drop the fake smile and truly face myself. I can’t heal by saying ‘everything’s fine’ and think if I say that enough it will come true. I have to go places I don’t want to go. “Gold is found in the dark places.” Healing is beautiful. It may not be fun in the moment, deep down in the dark, but afterwards, when you see the gold vein in the wall, you realize “it truly was worth it.”
So, the question to ask is, “are you unbreakable?” A year ago, I would’ve probably said yes. Duh, invincible, nothing can hurt me any worse. I found out soon enough that it wasn’t true. I thought I could take on the world and not let anything actually bother me, although it did. People looked at who I was and more than likely thought ‘woah, not much gets to her’, other than people I was close to who could see it all. I ended up shattering, like a glass mug once thrown, (not by me of course) into tiny pieces. Jesus showed me that He could help me put some of it back together. But I’ll never be a full mug again by myself. I need Jesus there to be the last pieces. I gave a lot of it to Him. He’d been waiting for me to let Him have it. He was the light in my dark places even if I didn’t see Him. I have a strange example I’ve thought about. So, I wrapped my leg a couple weeks ago and put the metal things on it. I noticed one was torn on the side. I thought to myself “I bet that will break.” The other one was perfectly fine. I noticed later that the one that was whole was gone. Lost. Is that how it is? The ones who believe they’re complete just get lost. The broken one held on. It knew it was broken but didn’t decide to leave or get lost. It stayed. Jesus was there beside it letting it know it would all be okay, and that He would take it for them. He was the last piece of their mug. So, find those dark places. Find what’s triggering and let it go. Let Jesus take it. That is where the true healing comes into place.
The girl, broken into a thousand pieces of glass was fragile, breakable, and tired of not being who she really was. She thought “that’s my purpose… to live my life as a shattered mirror.” But it wasn’t. Finally… she realized this isn’t working. “I can’t keep going like this,” she whispered. Crying, feeling hopeless she prayed and asked God to take away her burdens. Suddenly, light started coming through the dark forest. Birds started singing, a rainbow pierced the sky, and then she knew she wasn’t supposed to carry this burden. She felt like dancing and singing for the world to hear. And then this voice came, saying, “Child, I will carry your burdens. You don’t need to be weighted down. Follow me and I will guide you.” She did… from that day on. Can we be like that girl in the story and let down the curtain of fakeness, of pain, and of sorrow? Let God take our burdens. We need to give ourselves permission to feel our feelings even if we don’t like them so that we can find the triggers and find the true healing. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God” Ephesians 2:8. God saved you by His Grace when you believed. We are taking no credit for this, it is a gift from God. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us once in Christ Jesus. So we can do good things He planned for us long ago.